Friday, October 25, 2013

Fire Writer Friday - Lynn Marie Hulsman

Cowboy Marvin loves listening to the Written Fireside stories and is having great fun learning a little more about the Fire Writers  

Graciously, those who have authored a part of the round robin story have agreed to stop by, one each Friday, and visit with my curious goat. 

Stopping by this Friday is

Lynn Marie Hulsman           

Howdy Ms. Hulsman,

Are you a night owl or early bird? 

Such an early bird! My synapses fire fast and furious in the morning, and by dinner time, I'm toast. I literally had to quit taking profitable proofreading jobs in the pharmaceutical industry because pre-launch work for new drugs often bled deep into the wee hours. Not only didn't my brain work, I felt like I was the subject of psychological experiments regarding whether I could form sentences when sleep-deprived. 

In an ideal world, a gorgeous butler would wake me with a latte around 7, and I'd set straight to work writing. I have school-aged kids, though, so my wake-ups consist of hitting the floor running, and dedicating the next hour and a half to mating socks, frying eggs, and crafting last-minute paper-mache volcanoes for forgotten projects.

I don't know any gorgeous butlers, but I've heard of a Gerard Butler.  Perhaps you could train him to bring you a latte.    

I enjoy mornings as well especially if I manage to sneak out of the barn before the rest of the herd wakes up.  More greens for me.  

So tell me, who would you be, Batman or Robin?

Robin. I don't really like wearing hats.

You are missing out.  

 Hats are the bomb.    

Moving on, would you take a taxi or a limo if they were the same price?

In New York, a taxi. My first-world, privileged guilt requires me to make conversation with limo drivers, and to acknowledge them. I wind up bending over backwards to engage limo drivers in
NYC cab drivers are like NYC neighbors. We realize that we're in close proximity, physically, but we silently agree that we don't want to be in each others' business. 

I have to admit a taxi ride looks fun and you know the old saying if one goat can do it, another goat can.  

Do you like music?  What was the last song you listened to?  

Mr. Brightside, 

by The Killers

The song is awesome but the name of the band gives me the chills.  

How about your taste in movies, do you like scary, comedy, romance or adventure?

Romantic Comedy. I know I'm cheating and picking two, but it's really all I watch these days.

Have you seen Princess Bride?  

They should totally do a goat version!  Oh sorry to interrupt you, please continue.  

Gone are my days of hunkering down with important films like Salvador and The Killing Fields. The world is harsh right now, and I have to keep things around me soft at the moment. 

The last "scary" movie I watched was Gremlins, and I was terrified to get into my boyfriend's car in the mall parking lot, lest there be monsters in the engine. Suffice it to say, I have never done, nor will I ever do horror films.

I don't enjoy horror films either. 

 Too many times sweet innocent goats are portrayed as evil and that is just 


Tell me what season do you like best, Spring, Summer, Winter or Fall? 

Oh, fall. I love, love, love it. To me, it's the season of the fresh start. There is nothing I love more than cozying up in a cranberry-colored knit sweater and donning high leather boots, eating and drinking everything on earth that can be flavored with pumpkin, and gazing at the changing leaves.

I enjoy fall too, yummy fresh apples and leaves litter the ground.  One piece of advice if you visit my pasture, don't eat too many of those crunchy oak leaves.  Seriously you'd be better off eating rocks.

Would you tell me a place you've never been to but would love to visit? 

Adam Levine's bed.


(No, I'm not) 


OK, sane answer for a married romance-writing lady... 

OK, where to visit? The hollow space above Colin Firth's collarbone. 

With my tongue.
My mind was drifting.

Really to be fair, you asked a loaded question. Not my fault, I'd say. A good
answer would be... 

The Grand Canyon! 

(Not really. Bleurgh.) 

That's boring.

Sorry, I know that's what I should say, but I'd stare for like 5 minutes and be all... hmm, I'd love a Starbucks and to chat with some people about what's new on HuffPo. 

OK OK! Don't pressure me!


There. Now that's real.
Good answer! 
Sane, normal, cultured.
Well done, Lynn Marie.

Hey my daddy was a traveling Boer, 
I could totally do Paris with a lady friend. 

But on the back of Justin Timberlake's Vespa. 

Well now that's a problem Ms. Hulsman, I think there is only room for you.

Can we move on?

Of course we can.  Would you swim in the ocean or a pool? 

Pool! Once I was up to my neck in the ocean, and this thing that was either an eel, the severed arm of an octopus, or a bleached and stuffed condom was tapping me on the cheek with each new rolling wave, and I couldn't swim away because of the tide and drift. 

And honestly, after seeing Jaws, I don't even like to be in the deep end of the pool alone, regardless of how irrational it is to think a shark could survive in all that chlorine.

I see your point.  Sharks and goats wouldn't mix well.  I don't like wet hooves or being eaten.  I'm just fussy that way.

So how would you go camping - sleeping bag under the stars, tent, trailer, fancy RV, or a hotel with room service?

Camping to me is maybe being out on someone's deck after dark, drinking wine, and talking about how great it would be to sleep under the stars but then retiring to clean cotton sheets on a thick mattress once I'm tired and tipsy. 

I go to Maine every year, and stay in people from there call a "camp" on a lake. It's actually a sweetly decorated and well-appointed cottage overlooking the water. There's a gas grill on the deck for "cooking out." It pretends to be rustic, but it's like being in a play about being rustic.

Did you know that some people hire goats for yard work?  We are quite good on brush, fills the belly and hey, a goat has to make a living.  

One last question.  A goat walks through your door right now wearing a cowboy hat.  What does he say and why is he there?

He's all like, "Some a my kind heard you been sayin' goats eat tin cans. That's a myth, Little Lady, and our type don't take kindly to hate speech. 

I'm the sheriff of Slobbery Goatsburg, and you better come along with me down to the station." I tell him, "I didn't mean nuthin' by it, honest! Some of my best friends are goats!" I'd get off easy, with a week of mandatory sensitivity training.  

Lynn Marie Hulsman wrote for
Written Fireside October
A Witch By Chance Part 8 up Saturday October 26th.

Lynn Marie is the co-author of, 
Irish Pantry: Traditional Breads, Preserves, and Goodies to
Feed the Ones You Love
available on Amazon.

For those times when you need a snack—or a dessert after a good meal, or a homemade food gift, or a way to preserve the season—you need only to stock an Irish pantry to be prepared for any occasion. From jams and jellies to cakes, breads, condiments, and cured meats, this traditional look at feel-good foods bursting with nostalgia will satisfy your longing for something special.

Chef and restaurateur Noel McMeel has spent a lifetime first learning in the kitchen, then working there himself. His recipes are generations old: passed from his grandmother to his mother, and to Noel and the next generation. They celebrate a culture of thrift and good eating, the original “eating local” and “whole foods” movements. Noel offers ways to pack the heat of summer into jars with recipes like Blackberry and Lime Jam and Orange Confit, and his Traditional Irish Christmas Cake might become a regular at your holiday table. There’s also Rhubarb Ketchup, Homemade Elderflower Liqueur, Spiced Oat Crackers, and a whole chapter of rubs and seasonings. Whether you’re Irish or just a food enthusiast, the Irish pantry may well become a way of life.

Follow Lynn Marie online - Website Facebook Twitter Blog    

Thanks for stopping by Lynn Marie!

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